![]() But not in the exact way, I relive the feeling of abandonement, but I also the feeling of not wanting to tell anyone about what I am going through so I push people away and I lock myself in my room when these things happen. So I hold everything in, until I can't anymore and I explode into tears. ![]() I also feel like I can't talk about my emotions or feelings freely because my mother would always shame me for those emotions and those moments I wanted to cry. Then after I feel ashamed I step out of my own self like If my body is just an experiment and I look at the problem from the outside. I feel helpless whenever I am rejected and sometimes It takes me a long time to let go of the feelings of rejection. so she parked and took like 5 minutes and then she dropped me in school anyways.Īnyways. We were in the car and I began crying desperately. ![]() I remember that she only ever listened to me once, when I was already 11 years old. Saying that I was just crying as a form of manipulation. When I was a kid, I would cry because I did not want to go to school, which is where I experienced these horrible events, but my mom would ignore me. But somehow I keep thinking that maybe the problem should be more intense. I suffered from intense bullying, verbal rejection by all my peers from 8-10 years old and then was ghosted by my 2 best friends at 11 years old.
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